This is the story of Autumn Poet and a few friends, that will remain nameless (for now), and the neurotic, sometimes eccentric thoughts about my body’s changes and thought patterns. I just know for sure everything is changing. The challenge is…to shape my thoughts and not let my thoughts shape me.
The menagerie of events which have occurred during my life’s journey have ranged from the intrigue of mysterious happenings, “hanging on the edge of your seat” suspense, heart pounding drama to the “pissing on yourself” hysterically comical. To say the least this has been one amazing journey and I’m thankful for every bit of it. Even the stuff I didn’t think I wanted turned out to be good for me in some kind of way. So I guess that’s a part of finding forty. You realize the difference between being pruned and being stabbed. Well maybe that’s true for some of us ;-)
For instance, lately I’ve been in a war with the resistant gray hairs that refuse to take orders. Gray hairs have something that the regular hair has lost…Determination! You command it to lay down side ways and it says, “NO! I feel like standing up today”, so it does. I try plucking them out but they grow back faster and stronger, and usually with two or three more reinforcements, or is it just my hair? The changes happening all around me and too me are sometimes staggering.
Now, I’m about to cross over to the fabulous and sometimes not so fabulous forties and I find myself reminiscing and saying “Ha! I use to be….” (You know how we all have that thing we used to be or do?!) My body has come to a stage when it starts reflecting the “gain” in my life. Now when I think seriously about it, it’s been quite some time since I’ve been on the outside what I feel on the inside. In my mind, I’m 25 and have abs like Beyonce, but my body quickly reminds me differently when I try to slide into those size six hip huggers that will only come to my knees, or when the “muffin top” spills over the edge of my bikini underwear while screaming “I wish you would, and I’ll jump right out like a frog in hot water!!!” By now, I’ve been strapped down, taped up, Saran wrapped, tucked in and folded under and laid to the side and still got jelly rolls on my back. Now how did I do that? It’s all so amazing. Now I’m really not that bad but I could be so much better, if I just got up off my ass and did it (and by that, I mean EXERCISE!) Reality checks, at this stage, are brutal but necessary.
So I try to convince myself to do this longer than for a week or two but do this thing for real like I mean it. While yet I have the breath to breathe let me, while yet I have a step to take, let me take it and make it count. I’m feeling like, “Okay if I going to make something happen then this will be it. This is the time to do it and stop talking about it. I’ve been talking long enough!” (Another finding forty thing: I give myself a lot of pep talks, but am I listening? This is my reasoning for sharing out loud so that someone else may decide to hold me accountable for what I’ve said and that would be so great!)
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I too am on the verge of finding forty with a mental state of still being 25. I too have rolls and moles that I thought would never be there but are because of my lack of motivation to go to the gym or to see a dermatologist. I awaken one day to do my daily duties WORK! and discovered as I look in the mirror that I have one hair on my chinny chin chin now how the fuck that get there are the word that's coming out of my mouth. Then I look down at my hands and see that they are not as young looking as they once were before. My body is changing and there is nothing I can or rather will do about it at this time...again there goes my lack of motivation to make a change on my outward appearance. My mind says it's not that bad you still have time to make changes do something about it before it gets out of control. I guess these are the steps of aging and it's up to us to make a change but until then I will embrass the aging process I will embrass the coming of the big 40. Because honestly there is so much more in life so much more to life. What I learned that 4yrs ago I worried about my outward appearance only to discover that my insides were being affected by this thing called CANCER!. So while I am still here at 39 I will just appreciate the fact that GOD will allow this vessel to even see 40 and I stil have a year to find that one out.
Finding forty-shorty
I am also at forty-eve. As a man approaching forty, there are certain things that need to be done medically. I has my first visit with the doctor concerning my prostate exam. Men, when interviewing doctors for this, please check the hand size. For this experience, smaller is better. I must say that my doctor was beautiful and had small hands which made my experience a little better. Needless to say, I felt so violated laying on the table with the doctor telling me to put my knees up to my chest. Just relax your muscles and breath deeply...wait a minute, that sounds familiar..LOL
I said all that to say, MEN...be sure you get yourself checked out. WOMEN as well. Our bodies are going through drastic changes and we must have regular doctors visits. Don't wait until you are in pain.
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